Chapter 4 - real life story - Getting Jealous

Chapter 1 :http://kallatvinay.blogspot.in/2014/09/its-destiny-karma-chapter-1-how-it-all.html
Chapter 2 :http://kallatvinay.blogspot.in/2014/09/chapter-2-of-real-life-story-something.html
Chapter 3 http://kallatvinay.blogspot.in/2014/09/chapter-3-of-real-life-story-it-is.html

After Lunch we had gone to dome inside our campus, which is an open space where all of  us hang out after having lunch. Dome was a semi-circle structure made up of glass and fishes surrounded the outer circumference. A perfect place to hang out after your lunch. As of today, I remember it as the place were angels use to come in their short dresses and large fishes surrounded us. We were in the middle of the ocean and still working, let us leave the description at that. As usual we were all having fun pulling each others leg when I got a call from one of my friends after a long time. We talked for about two hours or so. And as per human psychology the longer the call the more is the probability that people or friends think that the other person on line is your girlfriend. So did she. I could see the anxiety in her eyes to know who was on the other side. I could almost hear her saying to her friend, "He has a girlfriend." It was funny, at the same time cute to see her getting jealous over a phone call. Everything went fine for almost a month now with chess games, eye games and all sort of games till Friday 18th November 2011.

Firday 18th November 2011 something changed drastically. She generally use to drink tea with all her female friends, although they had male friends in their group. But this time she was standing with a boy and talking to him. Honestly speaking I was really getting jealous but somehow I felt she was doing it on purpose to make me jealous. But I was terribly wrong. She might have wanted to say something to me which I could not hear or did not wanted to see at that point of time. She wanted to look at me, but I kinda refused and then she left the pantry. I was too jealous to see what was happening. I had planned to go for a movie “The adventure of TINTIN” the same night along with my COMPANY friends. It was almost 6:30, the time for us to leave for the movie and one of our kanjoos MUKKIChooooooooos (Translation Miser) friend started to cry that movie tickets were too costly and all. I almost lost my temper and in that fury said, “If you all are not coming I am going to take her and go with her instead”. And the answer came back almost reflexively, "You bring her and we would pay your bill as well." That is when I realized that me and Rahul are not the only two guys in our friends group who had an eye on her. That's when one of my friends said something that changed everything. I swear to god if you had been hit by a shot gun from a very close range that’s how I felt. Not that I know how it feels being shot by a shot gun but I would not be alive to feel the pain. Now I am Alive and have to go through it. That's when I realized what she was trying to tell me in the morning. My friend said, ”It is her last day at Office. She is leaving.” I heard her friends saying to her, “Best of Luck.” and hugged her tightly. I speculated it could be something else like getting married but it is still much worse than that. I could feel a 1000 Volts of current passing through my body, I was speechless. But I didn’t wanted to show my pain to my friends so had a good laugh at myself for being so dumb. My friend said to me, ”Let me do a screening on her for a last time," and that’s when I lost all my cool and also realized even I am seeing her for the last time. I just responded, “Not her, anyone else but not her”. That's when I realized something, I am being protective, caring about a gal whom I haven’t talked and met for not more then a month. I don’t even know if she is attracted to me or I am just another score to her. All I have thought is just a cultivation of my brain or I really imagined whatever she wanted me to know. I was watching her leave and I could not do anything but just stand there and watch her go away from me. I went for the movie with heavy heart hardly enjoying the movie ,although the movie was good.

Chapter 3 of real life story - It is about Scores

Chapter 1 :http://kallatvinay.blogspot.in/2014/09/its-destiny-karma-chapter-1-how-it-all.html

Chapter 2 :http://kallatvinay.blogspot.in/2014/09/chapter-2-of-real-life-story-something.html

Sorry for making you all wait for the 3rd chapter

Chapter 3 of real life story - It is about Scores

The next day I met her again in the Pantry as usual. I don’t know what is it with the pantry timings.

We almost always match that every time. May be we both liked to have tea at around 10:30 am everyday. Whatever it was there was some chemistry which is still a mystery for me. But the game of chess I had to play with my friend, excepting his moves and countering it was not the thing I was really concerned about. Because somewhere I knew we were just kidding each other although things got ugly at times, but the way she reacted when she was alone and when she was with her friends was totally different. When she was alone she usually shied away ,hardly looked into my eyes and whenever she did she shattered all my will to even stand there. But she was a total different person when she was with her friends. It felt like they were playing games of whom I am looking at. It felt like “The more boys look at her, more beautiful she was”. And somehow I didn’t liked it. I didn’t wanted to be a part of increasing somebodies beauty score. I wanted her to like me irrespective if it increase her beauty score or not. So I started to drift away from her. My brain and heart had an internal war. Heart as usual saying its just to show her friends that you were only interested in her and not anyone else. And brain like every time refuting to every word that my heart was saying.

This went long for few days and at that point I did not knew to side my brain or my heart.

Chapter 2 of real life story - Something Changed

If you have not read the first chapter of this story you can find it here:

 http://kallatvinay.blogspot.in/2014/09/its-destiny-karma-chapter-1-how-it-all.html

The next day I met her in the pantry wearing a cute white skirt and a no sleeve blue t-shirt. Her spread hair was covering most part of her face. I just wanted to remove it of her face so I could see her cute smile, but I stopped myself as the reality of being in the office hit me. She turned around and her hair touched my face on its path backwards. She looked innocently into my eyes as if she did not realize I was standing just beside her. Her smell around me was enough to paralyze me but her deep look into my eyes put me into a trance. I felt like a feather, light hearted, numb, happy all at the same time. And in life there aren’t many experiences that could make you feel that way or make you act crazy. Yes you probably guessed it right, I did act crazy. First, I nervously started to look the other way and then I could not resist not looking at her. I would take a moment here and say if you are in a similar position and cannot keep your nerves down just get the hell out of there. So she had a cup in her hand and was filling her bottle with hot water. So what did I do? I did the exact same. The vending machine had one nose for hot water and the other for getting coffee or tea. Now she was standing close to the water nose and was busy filling her bottle. I could not have intruded into her beautiful space. Yep, I was filling my bottle with hot coffee or tea. To make things worse I did not remember whether I was filling it with coffee or tea or mixed. I suppose it should be mixed because it was only when the bottle was half filled I realized what I was actually doing. And that’s when I accepted Darwin’s theory, our fore fathers were monkeys and I had a part of them still in me. So I had a half filled bottle with mixed beverage and at least 14 eyes staring down at me, including the two most beautiful eyes present there. I did not want to look stupid or something. So what did I do? Yep you are right again, something even more stupid. I took seven cups and poured the coffee into eight different cups. After that I graciously offered it to the seven people standing there. As expected nobody took it except her. I do not know whether anybody out there actually realized what was going on. But somehow her smile said she knew just what was going on within my small stupid head. She left and before leaving said, “It was a nice coffee. Thanks.” Nobody can get it, but only I know what her look can do for me. Nothing big, just a simple look of her changed. It definitely changed something.

Its Destiny - Karma (Chapter 1 - How it all started)

It’s Karma. Is all I can say now to myself with a broken heart.

She looked into my eyes, while she was talking to her friend. But I was so jealous of her talking to a boy that I could not see what she had to say, although I could hear everything. I couldn’t see what She wanted to say. Yes see, I had got blind with jealousy. She left the pantry and went to join her friends.

It all started with a silly game. And now I can see her walk away from me.

Chapter one :              How it all started

It all started when my office shifted from Vashi to Andheri. As normal me and my colleagues were excited to find new place, new faces and slowly got settled in our respective workstation. I was exploring the new place, coffee machine and other stuffs, when my eyes fell on a beautiful girl with curly hair, wearing denim jeans and a half sleeve T-shirt. She had worn bangles that made a sweet sound whenever she moved her hands. Her smile could have melt a strong man down. Her giggles would have made a sad person happy. Her aroma of women perfume passed alongside me.I don’t know whether it was the perfume or her, but I felt an instant attraction towards her. I never knew that meeting would be the beginning of a very sweet and sour memory.

From the word of mouth, I came to know that there were others too who liked her. Beauty is like gravity everyone falls for it. That is when the silly game of chess started. Me and my friend Rahul decided whomever she chooses to go with would win and the other one would walk off , with his head down into the hall of shame. :D

The week ended soon. I had gone to Pune that weekend, so had taken Monday off. I thought the game is suppose to start on Tuesday but little did I know it had already started. Well the game was about to get dirty. As I entered the Pantry on Tuesday Morning I heard, “Did you hear he is already married?” And her friend suddenly pointed her finger to me and there was silence in pantry. The cute gal whispered “(Whisper )Why didn’t you say he is hear?” I have to admit at this point that it was not a whisper I could hear her clearly. I had a hot tea in my hand which was less hot compared to my body. My brain was shouting from inside tell her that you are not married. I didn’t know who had spread it and how. But the suspense was over when I got a ping from my colleague Raj on my messenger “How is your wife?”And it just added fuel to my anger. Raj said, “Rahul had spread the news that you had gone to Pune for your marriage." That is when I realized the funny game of chess had begun. Now it was my time to make a move.

I called Rahul to my desk and as he was older than me I asked him the same question, "Aren’t you suppose to get married in few months?" Clearly knowing that his answer would give me an opportunity to clear the doubts in everyone's mind and that’s what happened. And I made it sure I was loud enough for her to hear me that I had no plans of getting married. I could hear a “Yes” from the background. And at that time I didn't know who was that, but I hope it was her.

The shadow . Based on true events that happend in my life.

A true incident taken out from the pages of my life. Hope it changes you in some way.

Episode of June 4th 2011:

I was disappointed with some current affairs in company and was getting really frustrated with the politics around in the company.

It hurt more when I came to know some of my friends were involved in it. It was kind of rainy day and I was talking to myself trying to raise my own motivation and to remain positive. Everyone here is to earn bugs no matter how, some by hard work, some by other ways but ultimately goal is the same so fight for it. Being fair in office and thinking that they would be fair is like being a goat eating only plants and in return thinking that Lion would also not eat it and would turn vegetarian. You are the person I know from my childhood. You are the sole motivator and now you cannot give up hope. You have won when everyone else had given up. Don't lie down now. Everything would be alright. You won a game from 8-0 position to 8-10 .It needs heart and you have it.

I said these words and instantly a smile came on to my face not because what I had just said but because I could connect it to something else in past.

It was September 16th 2007, one day before the Joining my first company Hexaware. I had a cup of tea in my hand warm enough to make me feel the heat of it.It was kind of a rainy day , dull climate and my mood was not particularly high as well.

Incidents that had happened in that time period to make me feel that low. Build up based on actual events. I know most of you would not know about this story.

I had received a mail from Hexaware saying "We are Sorry to inform you that your offer has been cancelled as you don't have 60% in your academic year”. My score was 59.59%. Although till that point I had my mind set to work in Hexaware and also the shame that I had to go through .How would I explain it to my parents and so on. Morale has taken up a lot of beating. Again what if friends ask how is your life at Hexaware, I would have no answers. It’s wisely said when you are nearing death you don’t make sound decisions."vinash kale vipreet buddhi".

You might all laugh but I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life .I went to PAT center with my mom taking up this issue; as I was not allowed to further appear on any campus recruitment due to my placement in Hexaware.And kind of have to say felt like something had gone wrong from my end for not getting 60% and to keep my mom also happy. Although I don’t fully justify the grading of marks in B.E , I had almost read most of the Reference book whereas people got better marks by just studying the notes of classes.Anyways that is a different discussion altogether.

To my Horror that guy was not just mad ...He was _ _ _ _ ing madddddd.....He called me up every day asking me to update the resume .I use to go home make some changes and come back. And for some odd reasons he find some other problem with the damn resume. And believe me when I say everyday it literally means everyday no hyperbole in that statement. He asked me questions which I don’t know what it had to do with my Job recruitment. I was desperate for it. No doubt now it feels funny why I was behind it so much. Might be the experience and confidence I got over the years was missing then. By then "Well" was the only world for me and searching for job was like fighting for a place in a big jungle.

Even the updated resume was no good for the PAT guy and he continued to call me almost every day even after he was somewhat happy with my resume, sometimes I used to take it positively thinking it was just to see my determination. Damn it he never ever cared about it.

So back to 16th September 2007

Anyways so here I was starring outside thinking about my future, which now was in the hands of some PAT guy and the place where I was actually going to be placed had rejected me. I was trying to find some wise words and in that worry and chaos fell unconscious. I could somehow see a faddy face almost like a shadow wearing a black shirt and blue jeans. Could not recall his face much. But could remember his attire and his word clearly" You Are the person I know from my childhood. You are the sole motivator and now you cannot give up hope. You have won when everyone had given up. Don’t lie down now. Everything would be alright. You won a game from 8-0 position to 8-10 .It needs heart and you have it.

A thunderous lighting outside brought me back into consciousness and it filled a new ray of hope and energy into me. I decided I would be drinking the first cup of tea in Hexaware .Its mine and I would not let it go. I went to Hexaware the next day and to my surprise they had reduced the cut off to 59% , which I came to know from one of my friends. And I didn’t have to fight for it. I didn’t realize then who or what that energy was that provoked me to go for it. But it really did work.

I learned one thing in life never give up hope and to my surprise the one who thought me was who..God...Intutaion..Destiny ????

The answer lies to what I was saying on 4th June 2011:

The words I said were exactly the same, You Are the person I know from my childhood. You are the sole motivator and now you cannot give hope. You have won when everyone has given up hope. Don’t lie down now. Everything would be alright. You won a game from 8-0 position to 8-10 .It needs heart and you have it.

The dress I was wearing was black Shirt and blue jeans and was standing in the same position that I was on 17th September 2011.Its damn true and my hair still stands to the exact dress that I remember seeing in my past and the dress I was wearing on that day.

You call it just a coincidence or whatever but that’s When I felt one thing the person who was motivating was no one else then me from future.

I had heard the concept of parallel worlds where your past, future and present co-exist but in different time zone. Even the image you see in mirror is some micro-second behind. Felt that for the first time. The things you see in your dreams and it actually happen. There might be some truth in it.

I just connected the dots from my chaotic life to come up with this story. A concept of chaos Theory where everything looks random but always has a pattern to it just have to join the dots.

In simple terms I call that person to be a shadow of my future that came to help my present.