The next day, I met her again in the pantry—as usual.
I don’t know what it was with those pantry timings, but somehow, we always ended up there at the same time. Maybe it was just coincidence. Or maybe we both liked our tea break at 10:30 a.m. sharp. Whatever the reason, the chemistry was undeniable—though still a mystery to me.
By now, the so-called “game of chess” I was playing with my friend didn’t matter much. Sure, we had our little rivalry, anticipating and countering each other’s moves. But deep down, I knew it was more of a joke than a war—though it did get ugly at times.
What really bothered me wasn’t Rahul, or the silly game. It was her.
Because the way she acted when she was alone with me versus when she was with her friends—was completely different.
Alone vs. With Friends
When she was alone, she shied away.
She would hardly look into my eyes—and when she did, it shattered my ability to even stand straight. That one look was enough to shake every bit of willpower I had.
But when she was with her friends? She became someone else.
It felt like a game—like her friends were competing to see who I was looking at. Almost as if the more attention she got from boys, the more beautiful she became in their eyes.
And I hated it.
Because I didn’t want to be a part of someone else’s “beauty score.”
I didn’t want to be just another guy adding points to her popularity. I wanted her to like me—not because of how many people looked at her, but because she truly saw me.
Heart vs. Brain
That’s when I started to drift away.
But walking away isn’t easy when your heart and brain are at war.
My heart kept whispering: “She’s only doing this to show her friends that you’re different—that you’re only interested in her.”
But my brain, as always, countered every argument: “No. Don’t fool yourself. If she cared, she wouldn’t play games like this.”
And so the tug-of-war continued—day after day.
At that point, I didn’t know which side to take—my heart, or my brain.
All I knew was that every encounter left me more confused than before.
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