A statement that fell on my ears long ago — “We are what we were” — never made complete sense until very recently.
It felt different from the familiar phrase, “An apple does not fall far from the tree.”
Life took me through an incident that made me realize something profound: I am not disconnected from my ancestors. I will always, in some way, be what I used to be. Yet, what we become is always the result of the choices we make. Our decisions define us, but our roots quietly shape us.
Childhood and Upbringing
I was born in a typical South Indian middle-class family. My parents taught me values and traditions rooted in Kerala, though I grew up in Kandivali, Mumbai. Unlike many families back then, both my parents were working. Naturally, I spent much of my childhood with school and society friends, most of whom were not South Indian. In fact, in thirty-two years of life, I have befriended only a handful of South Indians.
Why am I stressing this? It matters because of what happened later.
A Turning Point in 2017
In March 2017, something happened in my life (the details are personal, but the impact was life-changing). Soon after, I visited my native land — Kerala.
I had been there before, but this visit was different. The lush green paddy fields, the fresh air, the birdsong, and the traditional music all struck me with an intensity I had never felt.
Though I was more “Mumbaikar” than Keralite by lifestyle, the experience felt like a true homecoming. A sense of belonging stirred inside me.
And then — a familiar song played. One my father used to listen to during my childhood. Suddenly, I wasn’t just remembering my past, I was living his childhood. I could see, in my mind, the Kerala he grew up in, though I had never experienced it myself.
That moment, I understood: I am not just what I’ve done in 32 years — I carry much more inside me. The echoes of my ancestors live on, somewhere deep within.
The Mystery of Memory and Roots
The human brain is a mystery. Science speaks of genes and DNA, but what if it’s more than just biology? What if our memories extend beyond what we personally lived?
Maybe the songs, smells, landscapes, and traditions of our forefathers are coded into us. Maybe we can feel lives we never lived.
We are not just flesh and bone.
We are what we were.
Can We Change?
Does this mean we are bound to repeat the past? Not at all. Our choices define our future. A thief’s son need not be a thief. An apple doesn’t always have to fall near the tree.
We are what we were — yes. But we are also what we choose to become.
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