Today, I came back from office and just yelled out, "Fuck off." Nothing personal just the things going on in office were slowly crawling into my head. Slowly but steadily making me angry and impatient. And I think it was not only that but also the frustration to not give my passion writing a chance. Probably, a second chance to make it big in the field of writing before I bid a last farewell. I sat down with a cup of tea in my hand and was thinking about what my mom had once asked me, "Why do you keep writing? It is just a hobby, do it when you are free." I replied, "Mom, it is my passion." My mother asked, "What is the difference?" And I could not really give a definite answer as I was too young to answer. But in this chaotic life with politics, betrayal and many more lies hidden behind so many faces, I could find that answer which I did not knew ten years ago. I knew no matter what I do writing would be always waiting at the door step. All it takes is small things in life, like a unknown person liking your blog or a message from someone saying, "You know what, I read your story on Mumbai spirit." That is all it takes for me to pick up my laptop and start typing and pouring my emotions into my writing. I realized over the period of time I can never quit writing. If I am angry I think of writing, if I am sad I want to write and if I am happy I still need to write about it. And I am bloody thinking about quitting it, I should be way off my mind. I know now what is difference between passion and hobby. My mom was right hobby is something we do in leisure but passion is something you would do even if you do not have time. I have been through many sleepless nights as I did not write and could not sleep. Something felt incomplete without it. I wanted it more than I wanted to breath. I was just thinking about my characters in the novel all the time. Even when I was working, when I was sleeping and even when I was eating, I was just thinking about the plot ahead and till I put that on paper I was not satisfied. So what did one failure change. To be honest absolutely nothing, it moreover made me more determined. Of course, there were too many days of disappointment, of thinking am I wasting my time and could be using that time in something productive. But as said it keeps calling you, you cannot escape your passion. It comes from within and failure does not make it stop it. I am talking about true calling. It is then I realized what failure meant to all those contestants in American or any other talent shows. Even though you know they suck, they might have put in so much hours of sleepless night into their passion and all the hopes of making it big just crushes in a couple of moments. You know that they did not sing well but for them they have sung well and also you did not see all the hard work behind it. For me my writing is outstanding :), I almost write every night from 12:00 am to 02:00 am when everyone sleeps at my home and I can hardly see any lights outside on the street. You have not seen that, you just see the end result and judge on why I cried over a book not working. I work from 9:00 am to 6:00 pm with almost four hours of travelling (to and from office), which means I reach home by 8:00 pm and after that you have no idea how much of passion it requires to pick up the pen and think. It is not like a work out where you just plug on music and do not have to think. Writing requires you to use your head and doing it over and over every night even if you are so tired showed that it really meant a lot to me. SO I SAY IT TO YOU, if you have a dream and you are just thinking and not working on it, you would never get there. I am not saying I would be successful just because I put in so many hours but every morning when I get up, I know one thing for sure, "I TRIED MY BEST TO MAKE IT WORK." You know how soothing it is to the heart to hear that. You did everything you could and still if it did not work so be it. I would not lie I really want to make it big in writing and I know not trying would definitely not help me. SO if you have a fucking dream and you think about it every time and do not do anything about it you do not have anyone to blame. Even if you are reading this right now and not doing whatever you are suppose to do for your dream to come true, you are just wasting your time. I sign off, I have emptied my heart and I feel lot lighter writing it down. Hope you do the same.
Remember, the outcome always lies in your hand. You could look at the bed and go to sleep it is the easy way out or do something about the one thing that would not allow you to sleep. I made up my choice when I could have easily gone to sleep and instead I wrote this blog. I know it is not easy but if it was easy everyone could have done it, The fun in achieving something is the very fact of how hard it was to get it in the first place. See nobody cares about my pity problems of working hours or my travelling schedule, we all have this pity reasons for not doing something but I have seen a person having no legs dance, so I guess no one of us have the reason to say that we are not able to do this or that because of someone or something else. Get your shit together and do whatever it takes to get to your dream. Life isn't just about rainbows, it is also about facing the rain that was the reason why you could see the rainbow on the first place. No pain, no gain. If life knocks you down, just take a moment and in that moment you would realize how much you want to get back on your feet and remember it. But not for long else you would start to enjoy and would become happy with the situation and remain there. You need to fight back to get to your feet and when you do, you would surely love that moment and it would be just yours and no one would get it, so it is for your to cherish. I remember one such moment from pursuit of happiness when he gets the job and all the hard work and pain that he had gone through comes right in front of him and he realizes no more. No more of that.......
Remember, the outcome always lies in your hand. You could look at the bed and go to sleep it is the easy way out or do something about the one thing that would not allow you to sleep. I made up my choice when I could have easily gone to sleep and instead I wrote this blog. I know it is not easy but if it was easy everyone could have done it, The fun in achieving something is the very fact of how hard it was to get it in the first place. See nobody cares about my pity problems of working hours or my travelling schedule, we all have this pity reasons for not doing something but I have seen a person having no legs dance, so I guess no one of us have the reason to say that we are not able to do this or that because of someone or something else. Get your shit together and do whatever it takes to get to your dream. Life isn't just about rainbows, it is also about facing the rain that was the reason why you could see the rainbow on the first place. No pain, no gain. If life knocks you down, just take a moment and in that moment you would realize how much you want to get back on your feet and remember it. But not for long else you would start to enjoy and would become happy with the situation and remain there. You need to fight back to get to your feet and when you do, you would surely love that moment and it would be just yours and no one would get it, so it is for your to cherish. I remember one such moment from pursuit of happiness when he gets the job and all the hard work and pain that he had gone through comes right in front of him and he realizes no more. No more of that.......
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