🦋 From Silent Crushes to Soaring Dreams: Breaking Free and Chasing Happiness

It’s hard enough trying to figure out life, let alone knowing what you actually want from it. Or—to be brutally honest—whether you even deserve to want more than the basics.

So here’s a little peek into my past, to show you where my story began.

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The Shy Kid in the Corner

I was that painfully shy kid you’d find tucked away in the corner of the classroom—the one who spoke only when absolutely forced.

College promised freedom, a chance to spread my wings. But there was this invisible chain holding me back. At the time, I thought it was just shyness. Now? I know better. It was the terror of being judged.

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My First Crush (a.k.a. Ponytail Girl)

Take my first-ever crush, for example. I wasn’t sure whether it was love or infatuation, but there she was: sitting on the bench next to me, two ponytails bouncing, smiling at me every single day like some secret message just for me.

The “big guys” in school were lining up to talk to her—literally—and she brushed them off like they were bad Tinder matches. Of course, in my head, she was mine. Stupid? Maybe. But that’s how it stays in my heart forever—even if she never knew I loved her.

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Counting Crushes, Losing Courage

Fast forward to engineering college—yes, a few more crushes happened, and yes, I’m counting.

Picture me: Mr. Good Boy, heart pounding, wondering how to even ask a girl out without ending up viral on social media for “harassment.” Did I imagine jail time? Oh, absolutely. Paranoia levels: expert.

And let’s not talk about my eighth crush at work who probably knows… but might still be waiting for me to say those magic words. Spoiler alert: I’m still warming up.

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Writing: My Brave Stupid

Here’s the real talk: sometimes you’ve got to be stupid. Not “jump off a cliff” stupid, but the kind of brave stupid where you stop overthinking and just… do you.

Writing became my rebellion. The moment I pressed “start” on the keyboard, I kicked judgment to the curb and let my true self breathe. Turns out it didn’t matter what the world thought—as long as I didn’t let it.

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Cracking the Code

So what do I want from life? Honestly, I’m still figuring that out. Maybe I never will. But I’ve cracked one code: we’re all chasing happiness.

Nothing fancier than that. Doesn’t matter if it looks different on you than it does on me—it’s happiness, plain and simple.

And here’s something we forget in the chaos: none of the crap—the ego bruises, the lousy raises, rejections, heartbreaks, missed parties, forgotten dreams—none of it really matters.

When your life flashes before you, you won’t be thinking about missed increments or rejected texts. You’ll regret the love you didn’t give, the dances you skipped, the dreams you shelved, the ponytail girl’s hand you never held.

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Be Gloriously Imperfect

I’m no guru, no coach, no monk on a mountain. Just a learner who believes life is a brief, crazy, beautiful slice of time we get to share.

So please, make mistakes. Lots of them. Then have the courage—real courage—to laugh at those mistakes. Because life rewards the bold, the foolish, and the unapologetically human.

If I were to give you one piece of advice today, it’s this: make mistakes, but don’t make the mistake of not making any. Those missteps are your stories, the hilarious tales you’ll tell your grandchildren someday.

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My Little Victory

What do I want from life? I don’t have the answer yet. But I know this: writing lights me up. So for now, that’s enough.

Because life’s too short to stay chained to worries about fame or money. Chase happiness first, and everything else will follow—or it won’t, and that’s okay too.

So go do whatever crazy, joyful, messy thing you’ve been avoiding. If you think reading this was your mistake—well, tough luck! Try something else. Just try.

I’ll be back here when life dumps the blues on me again, and I need to spill my thoughts.

Am I flying yet? If you’re reading this, maybe I am.
Officially a writer now—one small dream unlocked.

And honestly? I don’t care what you think about my little victory speech. Because I’ve broken my shackles. I’m soaring higher than I ever imagined.

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Final Thought

Dreams don’t need wings—they need hope.

And me? I’m hopeful.

Are you?
If not, maybe you’re just taking life a little too seriously.

Chill. 🌻